Some of us believe we have to have someone beside ourselves to tell us how wonderful we are or else we go into a state of deep sadness. With our self-esteem extrinsically based, the idea of being loved gives us a feeling of euphoria, but on the flip side, we plunge into despair whenever the positive feedback pauses or ceases altogether. We often needlessly carry these intense feelings inside in self-punishing ways.

This inner state of turmoil is quite common and many people around us experience similar bouts of anguish, so we need not despair into believing we are some awful phenomenon who is destined to live in the shadows without hope for finding enduring love. What we need to recognize is that the most formidable obstacle is inside us. It’s also helpful to choose friends who will bring out the best in us so we feel secure around them.

~ vincenzo

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