Insecure love – that choppy, messed-up way of caring – operates from extreme to extreme in families: tossing us about from royal treatment to out-of-control behaviour. It is like looking through whale eyes. You cannot see what is in front of you, but only from lateral sides – each view completely different from the other. On one side all is peace and love; on the other wretched hail storms of emotion. And so the pendulum swings from one side to the other … blindsided or harpooned.

I entered teaching where conflict intervention was mandatory. The ups and downs produced sea-sickening panic attacks. I always excelled as a student, but this new kind of test exacerbated my nerves. I either flew under the radar or risked losing control. I didn’t seem to have any middle ground.

Don’t ask me how I learned more redemptive responses. I haven’t reached that far in my contemplations.

~ vincenzo

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