When you face the tears and ongoing agony of codependence, you value every insight that comes your way. You hang on to each word of wisdom as it speaks to you. Not just any words will do. You can identify which ones, by the intense need to return to them as steady reminders.

What follows are treasured excerpts from John Bradshaw’s book, “Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child”.

~ vincenzo ©

“Some of us may have difficulty trusting ourselves to meet our needs and therefore think we need someone else to meet them.

We have difficulty trusting others so we feel we have to be in control all the time.

We fail to detect body signals such as not being aware how tired we are.

We may feel we don’t belong anywhere or to anyone.

In social situations we may be invisible so no one notices us, yet not even be aware why we do this.

We may attempt to make ourselves indispensable to others to make sure they will not leave us.

We may have a great need to be touched or hugged that could make us vulnerable to bonding too soon, too deep with someone we don’t even know and who could even be harmful to us.

We may have an obsessive need to be valued and may have difficulty establishing boundaries for fear that others may not like those boundaries.

We may isolate ourselves out of fear that people might end up rejecting us or we might end up rejecting them.

Some of us are gullible and don’t see other people’s hidden agenda or else we see the hidden agenda but go along with it all the same.”