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“When I was a child I made up my mind that no one loved me — that life may not be worth it and that love was a conditional transaction between people. When I grew up, I soon learned I was wrong. Children learn wrong things about the world; about life; about love, but I promise you that children don’t think that way without good reasons.

Fortunately, I did learn people do love me and life’s worth living. But I felt that second learning developed much later than early on, because I know when I’m stressed out, when I’m hurt, when I feel betrayed or when I’ve really screwed up something or hurt someone, I relapse into being that little child who believes there is no love in this world.”  ~ Jee Hyun Kim

I started on an-all- out anti-inflammatory campaign a few months back.  Being on a low glycemic eating plan means a lot to me. For as many years as I care to remember, I waged a losing battle inside my own body. My work in teaching only exacerbated the anxiety, metabolic imbalance, brain fog, mood swings and fatigue.  I distanced myself from the band aid solutions of conventional doctors.  Conversely, as I began to understand and apply natural alternative approaches to healing, the better I began to feel.

“Let food be your medicine and medicine be your food.”  Hippocrates

Holistic practitioners believe the body is able to heal itself, only it needs the raw materials to do so. This also involves eliminating harmful foods and customs in order to prevent oxidation damage, inflammation and blocking of amino acids and essential minerals from doing their work.

Finding consensus among holistic philosophies is unrealistic, so I arrived at the list below according to the research I’ve done so far. Most of the points come from Dr. Peter Glidden who has been a Naturopathic Doctor for twenty five years related to holistic medical nutrition.

As a result of this lifestyle change, I feel less prone to moodiness; I experience greater mental clarity; I feel less stiffness around the joints; it has cleared up my digestive issues and all my headaches have disappeared.

I have found the majority of people I share this with, resist change and would rather adhere to their long established habits than get better.  I’ve learned in this regard to keep my expectations low.

What to Avoid

  1. Wheat
  2. Rye
  3. Barley
  4. Oats
  5. Any Oil in a Bottle — Vegetable Oils, Olive including Coconut Oil
  6. Deep Fried Foods – frying foods at a high temperature causes oxidation
  7. Carbonated Beverages — Washing your food down with carbonated drinks blocks the absorption of the nutrients you consume
  8. Well cooked red meat — eat red meat rare or medium rare only
  9. Luncheon meats because they contain harmful nitrates
  10. Skins of baked potatoes, yams and sweet potatoes
  11. Sugar, Fructose, Artificial Sweeteners
  12. Most refined high carbs even “Gluten Free”

solitary

Is finding online love better than no love at all?

I have been on my own for several years with my ups and downs. In real time I feel secure when meeting someone new. I can observe gestures and actions, listen to the texture of the voice and decide whether that someone might make a good match before deciding to step out. However, the rules vastly change when it comes to interacting online.

A close relation once recommended I get to know a lady a few years ago and so we began to correspond with each other. We chatted daily and eventually talked on Skype, but without the visual aid of a web camera. I did not own a computer at this time, so I relied upon a nearby internet cafe. This went on for a period of 3 or 4 months. We had developed a regular pattern of communication and all seemed a matter of course.

The day came when we finally met face to face as she picked me up at the airport and an unexpected dread filled my heart. Weeks of preparations and anticipation made the anticlimax more striking.  Until that moment, it never occurred to me we could possibly be mismatched. I blindly relied upon my close relative’s recommendation without question.  For someone who usually explores the terrain before advancing, this was not a great feeling.

Even though I already knew what I needed to be said, I stressed out for days pretending everything was fine. Days later, I worked up the nerve to sit down with her and confess my misgivings. The news devastated her as she felt we were the perfect match.  I felt sickened with remorse for having awakened her feelings. Alas, our dream vacation ended even before it started. It is most humiliating and disagreeable having to turn someone down after communicating at a distance for months.

The problem with online communication is you run the danger of fashioning a person after your own fancy, only to discover you lack the necessary chemistry or compatibility needed to advance further. What then?

Looking back, I believe online contact with stranger needs be treated as starting point while establishing strong limits. It is wise to keep the exchanges light, keeping the intervals of contact brief and spreading them out over a long period of time until you decide to meet face to face. Even though your intention may be to establish limits with someone in your head, what really determines the degree of attachment or involvement is the frequency and amount of time you as a couple interact together. You may call it a friendship or whatever you like, but the pacing is what determines the true emotional state.

Too much, too soon is a sure sign of codependency. It sends the message that the relationship is not only advancing too abruptly, but that the couple may have formed an additive attachment to each other. ~ vincenzo ©