Although sensitivity is not always akin to emotional instability, cultural bias often makes no such distinction.  Therefore, the highly sensitive person may confuse the former for the latter, placing greater confidence in the social mirror than his own perspicacity.

~ vincenzo ©

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Although writing usually helps clarify my thoughts, sometimes it clouds me over with angst. I not only encounter complex issues that resist translation, I come into collision with my own perceptions. No matter how the words arrange themselves, they look back at me with trifling glances. The deeper I excavate, the less justice accorded to the lived experience. I tackle it in bits and pieces – save it to draft, then return to it another day. I find I can only devote so much time before I’m consumed with heartache and fatigue.

When we believe we are undeserving, we can involuntarily open ourselves to unsuitable company without understanding the damage it may cause. These unsuitable personalities have abilities to decode susceptibility and hoodwink others through false assurances. While being charming on the surface, they are volatile, combative, and disrespectful of boundaries. They maintain a persistent self referential attitude and suck away energy like vampires.

Abusive episodes operate within cycles and begin with measured doses of seductive sweetness, followed by days of increasing tension, then finally erupting into violent verbal and/or physical attacks. They’re called cycles because the sweetness, tension and acting out become a recurring pattern played over and over again like an endless loop cassette.

You come to a startling realization. What seems real is imaginary. You hold on tightly, only to discover it brings instability, desolation and untold stress. This kaleidoscope of emotional upheaval erodes the soul with unpredictable bouts of dissonance.

You let go. You move on. You grieve. You open up to others. You isolate yourself. You realize many are called but few confidants are chosen. In real time grief is too alien a subject. Society at large fails to acknowledge or comprehend it. There is an unspoken aversion to it. Online, writers convey their thoughts through a generic-sounding-scientific lens. Cold and sterile. Colorless depictions.

Grief is an inner work. I came to realize I needed God to give me a new viewfinder, for mine was passed broken and looking through it, I only grew more anxious and fearful, even when reading the Scriptures. It was when I was at dead end of myself with no sense of direction did Christ answer my prayer.

~ vincenzo ©

*parentheses mine

Emotional Validation awakens an interest in me perhaps because it was scarce while growing up. Ridicule, reprimand, rejection and sarcasm on the other hand were the order of the day. These made daily interactions painful, intimidating and confusing. As a boy, I’d often gaze at the reflection in windows or mirrors to look at my face. I wondered how my visage could trigger such intense despising and contempt. Was it my dark skin, my slower speech or my hesitancy?

When I was growing up resources about emotional issues were also scarce. Personal computers and/or Internet access were not dreamed possible. There were no online forums, support groups or blogs to compare notes. In order to survive, sensitive souls had little light with which to navigate, so they grew up out of touch with their emotions. By example, they learned to suppress pain as much as possible.

As adults, many sensitive people have chronic difficulty identifying feelings. They are susceptible to indecision, self-doubt, anxiety and irrational fears. They experience emotional instability including a gnawing sense of emptiness. Some become incoherent in their verbal communication when over-aroused, fatigued or distressed. These issues may or may not interfere with their work, yet for me when work is finished, I am usually drained and unfit for any other kind of activity.

For those who exercise and pay attention to their nutritional needs, these go a long way to maintaining a more stable emotional system, yet for all the inner work and personal development, parts will always remain vulnerable.

It is imperative to raise awareness of the need to model Emotional Validation even when it is generally disregarded. Here is one example of EV and the difference it may make.

http://www.smartclassroommanagement.com/2014/04/19/why-you-need-a-good-relationship-with-difficult-students/

~ vincenzo ©

* “Emotional validation is the process of learning about, understanding, and expressing acceptance of another person’s emotional experience. Emotional validation is distinguished from emotional invalidation, in which another person’s emotional experiences are rejected, ignored, or judged.” — http://www.about.com
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