How do you come to terms with the way it was — the way you wished it had been?

Some losses are beyond recovery, because you seek qualities in another he or she never possessed. You hold on tightly maybe for years, only to discover it brings you instability, desolation and untold stress until you can no longer hold on any more.

Grief appears and reappears when you least expect it. Wherever you go, it is a subject too foreign for the general public. Reading about it online only magnifies the pain as most websites approach it through a generic, scientific lens. It looks nothing like the dark forebodings gripping your heart.

Although writing helps to clarify thoughts, you often collide against your own perceptions, unable to trust your senses. No matter how you arrange the words, they look back at you with trifling glances. The deeper you excavate, the less justice accorded to the lived experience. ~ vincenzo ©

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May those who walk alongside of you, see you from the inside out. There is no greater compliment. ~ vincenzo ©

My aspiration is to approach soul connections from a position of healing and strength, rather than emotional dependency emanating from the wounded self. Some refer to it as self possession. What I’m learning is to build friendships not through coaxing, manipulation or subtle coercion, but sensitivity, calmness and listening.

I come from an emotionally void childhood and therefore susceptible to making excuses for others. I will move mountains in order to hold on to someone even when there may be no foundation, but something conjured up.

Perhaps building friendships is more about being still, than following the impulses of the erratic heart. It’s easy for me to find excuses to delay my stay in the name of helping the object of my attention rather than accepting the reality that this or that person may not be the match I imagined.

~ vincenzo ©

Many write about their journey through anxiety and depression and there is nothing extraordinary about my story. When you plunge into the sea of despair, the world seems to forget you. You are sucked into the vortex of a dark downward spiral. And people keep asking you questions, but the kind you find irrelevant, so you no longer expect anyone to actually listen or care. And yet this is the nature of grace. It descends upon your cold and cynical heart when you least expect it.

~ vincenzo ©

Whoever seeks to change anyone but himself, only adds to the misery he wishes to eliminate. ~ vincenzo ©

The beauty of an imaginative soul is the power to visualize hope even when reality is insipid and cold. Some refer to this quality as faith. Sometimes all we have to sustain us is an inner belief that one day love and truth will prevail.

~ vincenzo ©

“Life is not a matter of changing our temperament, but learning to manage the one we have.” ~ vincenzo ©