What is important for friends to know about me?

I have an overbearing sense of responsibility toward others. I enjoy honest and meaningful connection where noble values prevail.  I learn most from those who are honest about their struggles. I find myself needing solitude in order to appreciate the company I keep. I am selective when it comes to showing my playful and humorous side. I need a high level of independence in a relationship.  I am open to new experiences when I don’t feel rushed or pressured.  If I don’t have my own space to retreat to and recharge, I get fatigued and irritable.

As far as my temperament goes, it is artistic and colors the way I see the world. I seek beauty in the commonplace. I align creativity to my spiritual calling.  It’s a side of me few take time to get to know.  I seek substance over style. I shun doing things in a run-of-the-mill way. 

I am called to attend to what is invisible to most, in a culture that has little or no understanding of the calling to spiritual and creative attunement.  My faith can be summed up in the Incarnation.  God descended to earth to show us humility, grace, servanthood and serendipitous wisdom. The teaching and challenges I have received for the past years at church have been lightweight and repetitive: so I have been searching greater depth to the Christian life.

Having a low threshold for sensory stimulation, I want to develop greater coping strategies. I have an aversion to loudness, triteness, small talk and ready-made scripts.

I admire literary authors and how they delve the subterranean currents of the human heart.  I never tire exploring the forgotten world of classic literature. I am skeptical when it comes to convention, the media and consumerism. Writing (as well as Classic Literature) is intimately connected to my spiritual walk. Since my youth, it has been a way of exploring my faith and personal growth. I admire how authors view life through an inner lens. I enjoy reading classic literature over contemporary appreciating how authors infuse feeling into words, creating word pictures through the five senses.

“From the first moments of life, our being strives to be in harmony with our surroundings and with each other.” ~ Dr. Sharon Keller

I know what it is to want to belong and yet be unable to. When you face the tears and ongoing agony of a long term unnamed condition, you value every insight that comes your way. I remember being a socially receptive child, but as I grew older, I began feeling more out of place without knowing why. I put on a facade, yet below the surface, I couldn’t make sense of the loud, hard-hitting, competitive climate that prevailed each day.

I adopted a cool detached persona in order to survive. As a loyal people pleaser, I found it exhausting to keep in step with boisterous community standards. There was no escaping the commotion: The desire to be left alone, the necessity of down time, the strain of trying to make sense of social dynamics – made daily life a painful boot-camp existence.

Without a plan of action, having a highly-sensitized temperament is debilitating. It adversely affects your relationships when your heightened emotional responses include unresolved codependency issues.  Without meaning to, you approach love from a place of scarcity.  From a subconscious level, this insecure attachment interferes with your strong need for connection.
~ vincenzo ©

Although sensitivity is not always akin to emotional instability, cultural bias often makes no such distinction.  Therefore, the highly sensitive person may confuse the former for the latter, placing greater confidence in the social mirror than his own perspicacity.

~ vincenzo ©

“Sometimes we spend a lot of time trying harder in the wrong direction.” ~ Mary Delaney

Teaching art is full of rewards and challenges. I wholeheartedly enjoy concocting art projects and later being able to sit back and watch students engage…  On the other hand, my work also requires navigating in an overstimulating environment where a class can be derailed if I am not well grounded.

Students arrive to class in a festive mood and are prone to get out of control in an instant. They compete for attention, throwing out four or five requests simultaneously. These and other habits require me to reexamine my unexamined teaching approaches in order to reduce my emotional distress.

Being someone of heightened sensibility, I battle with hyper-sensitivity and overwhelm. I have neurotransmitters that make me especially vulnerable to emotionally intense environments. Prime symptoms are over-emotionalism, over-reaction and fatigue.  Try to imagine a doctor, a dentist or a lawyer coping with patients/clients without the aid of a waiting room to buffer the demands? As Phylameana lila Desy says,

“Being hypersensitive could be described as being allergic to life. For the highly sensitive person (HSP) a seemingly ordinary day can be overwhelming. Energies associated with touch, noise, scent, light, etc. are quickly and deeply absorbed by the HSP. As a result, the HSP may become mentally confused, emotionally upset, and/or physically uncomfortable. Hypersensitivity is also associated with a heightened sense of awareness and intuition.” 

Highly sensitive individuals often overemphasize their emotional expression as a way of compensating what often seems an invisible existence. They may swing from conflict avoidance to emotional dysregulation. This can have a debilitating effect upon their sense of self confidence.
~ vincenzo ©